“Should My Parents Help Me Buy?” — A Real Conversation Happening Across NYC Right Now

If you’ve had this conversation at the dinner table recently, you’re not alone. Across Brooklyn and the broader NYC market, we’re seeing more families get creative about how the next generation gets into homeownership — and honestly, it makes a lot of sense when you look at the numbers.

Here’s where things stand: only 49% of millennials own a home by age 35, compared to 62% of boomers at the same age. Meanwhile, boomers are sitting on $76 trillion in wealth — much of it accumulated through the very real estate appreciation that’s now pricing their kids out of the market. That’s not an accusation, it’s just the math.

So what are families actually doing about it?

The Trend Is Real — And It’s Growing

More than a third of Gen Z and about a quarter of millennials have received financial help from their parents when buying a home. We hear this directly from clients. NYC brokers put it plainly: rents in this city are so high that parents come to visit, do the math, and immediately start asking what they can buy instead.

It makes sense. When someone is paying $3,500/month in rent, a parent paying toward a mortgage starts to feel less like a gift and more like a sound financial decision for the whole family.

How Families Are Structuring It

Not every parent can write a full check — and they don’t have to. The most common arrangements we’re seeing:

Down payment gifts. 12% of buyers this year are getting help with a down payment, up from 9% last year. For many first-time buyers in Brooklyn, this is the single biggest unlock.

Co-signing. A parent with strong credit and assets co-signs the loan, helping an adult child qualify for a mortgage they couldn’t get alone.

Intrafamily loans. Parents act as the bank, offering rates well below the current national average — these “intrafamily loans” are subject to applicable federal rates, which currently sit between 4 and 5%, compared to the 6.5%+ you’d get from a traditional lender. We’ve seen this work beautifully when structured properly with a written agreement.

It Can Bring Families Closer

There’s something worth naming here that gets lost in the financial conversation: a lot of the parents we see involved in these transactions genuinely love the process. Families tour apartments together on weekends, have lunch, see more places in the afternoon — and make it a joyful experience. For parents who want to stay close to their adult kids and grandchildren, helping with a home purchase can be about so much more than real estate.

Some parents are specifically buying near their own homes so grandkids grow up nearby — in some cases, families end up owning several houses on the same block. In a city that can feel isolating, that kind of intentional proximity is something we find deeply meaningful.

What to Think Through Before You Start

This conversation deserves honesty, not just enthusiasm. A few things worth discussing as a family:

Divorce. About 40% of marriages end in divorce — and a parental down payment can become contested in a split if it wasn’t clearly documented as a gift to one party. Get it all in writing from the start so there is nothing to contest if something goes south.

Medicaid look-back rules. If parents transfer significant assets and need Medicaid within five years, the government can come after those funds — and if you can’t pay, their care may not be covered. This is a real consideration for families whose parents are approaching retirement age.

Family dynamics. Money and real estate together can bring out complicated dynamics. Some families use money as a tool of control — it’s worth asking honestly whether the gift comes with conditions, and whether those conditions are something you can live with. Again having the arrangement documented in writing will help avoid miscommunication.

How to Have the Conversation

If you’re thinking about approaching your parents, come prepared. Parents respond well when adult children present a business-like case — an agent identified, an attorney engaged, a home inspector and contractor lined up. It signals that you’re not asking for a handout; you’re asking for partnership.

And if you’re a parent reading this — that’s increasingly our audience too — know that your involvement doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. There’s a lot of middle ground between “buy the whole thing” and “stay out of it.”

The RC team works with multi-generational buyers all the time and can help structure these conversations in a way that protects everyone involved. Reach out — we’re happy to walk through what makes sense for your family’s situation.